4 Things Kids Pastors Wish Their Lead Pastors Knew
In my last post, I wrote about how different things look from the lead pastor's chair. While much of the work is familiar, there are some important differences that most lead pastors never fully see. That's the genesis of this two-part series.
This week I'm speaking from my own experience as a kids' pastor, along with some honest feedback I gathered from several kidmin Facebook groups. Next week, I'll flip the script and share what lead pastors wish their staff, and specifically their kidmin leaders, understand.
Some of what follows might sound pointed. But it comes from a place of genuine care, not criticism. These aren't complaints as much as they are expressions of deep, unmet needs. The view from each chair is different, and we do real damage when we assume everyone's experience looks the same.
Here are four things kids' pastors wish their lead pastors knew.
1. Summer Is Go, Go, Go
I've written before about my first summer in kidmin. I had two days off in June and maybe a week in July. It was exhausting.
Meanwhile, my pastor took two weeks off right after Father's Day. He came back in August rested, energized, and ready to launch into a big fall. My team and I were barely hanging on. We pushed through a busy fall and Christmas, and finally caught our breath somewhere between Valentine's Day and Easter.
And then it happened again year after year.
Now that I'm a lead pastor myself, I understand what my pastor was thinking. He was recharged and ready to go. What he missed was that summer isn't a slow season for kidmin. It's our busiest time of year.
If you lead a kids' ministry leader, understand that June and July are not downtime for them. Give your kids' leaders room to breathe before and after that stretch. If you're planning a big fall event, don't default to putting the kids' department in charge of it. They need margin or you're going to end up with a burned-out leader.
If you're in kidmin, fight hard to protect your priorities and rest when you can. Don't wait for someone to notice you're drowning. Speak up early. Let your leader know what your summer looks like and when you want to take vacation. If you don't say anything, they'll assume you're fine. Give both of you the chance to plan a summer that's actually sustainable.
2. Volunteer Management Is a Constant Struggle
Every ministry needs more volunteers. But the need is most acute in kidmin.
Children's leaders oversee multiple age groups, rooms, ministries, and events, and every single one of them requires volunteers. Youth ministry can often get by on a handful of committed leaders who serve every week without missing a Sunday. In worship ministry, it's not unusual to see the same people on stage and running tech week after week.
I tried the “work one, serve one and serve every week” and it was like running into a wall. Very few volunteers were willing to serve every week, which meant I had to build a rotation system. Rotations effectively double the number of volunteers you need per service. If you only have one service, the number of positions you need to fill have quadrupled.
The result is that kidmin leaders can never stop recruiting. Or training. Or scheduling. Or finding last-minute subs. And somewhere in the middle of all of that, they're also supposed to be discipling kids.
It's a lot.
So if you lead a kidmin leader, please don't casually suggest they just go find three to five more people to fill a gap. They've been looking. If they're coming to you about it, they're approaching desperation. You can help by giving them specific names to reach out to, or better yet, make the introduction yourself. The best volunteer recruitment happens through relationships, but if your kids' leader is always with kids during the service, they never have the chance to build those relationships. Help them find a way to attend the main service regularly, not just serve in it. . Then those relationships can grow and recruitment becomes easier.
If you're in kidmin, you need a solid recruiting plan. You also need to care for the volunteers you already have so your turnover stays low. And attend your church's main service when you can. I know how hard that is. It was one of my biggest weak spots. But it matters.
3. Kidmin Needs More Budget and Staffing Than It Gets
When I started talking about becoming a lead pastor, one of the most common responses I heard was, "Oh, that's a big jump!" People meant well, but the comment reveals a fundamental misunderstanding of what kids' pastors actually do.
Think about Sunday morning alone. Kids' leaders plan and lead worship, teach a lesson, and facilitate small groups. They manage volunteers of all ages. They run sound, lights, and presentation software. They're personally present in one room while trusting volunteer leaders to run everything else. On a typical Sunday, a lead pastor is responsible for all of those same elements, but usually has paid staff handling everything except the sermon.
Now that I’m in the lead chair, I now realize the weight is much heavier. The buck stops here. But it’s not that different from kidmin.
Given everything kidmin leaders carry, those who lead them should allocate a disproportionate share of the budget and staffing to that ministry. It's easy to underinvest in a room you rarely visit. Budgets tend to follow attention. But kidmin is one of the most significant growth drivers a church has. If your adult spaces are well-resourced and your kids' rooms feel like an afterthought with third-hand furniture and outdated equipment, visiting families will notice. Young parents are making decisions about whether your church takes children seriously, and they can tell quickly if the answer is no.
If you're in kidmin, remember that the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Talk about what you need and make the case for it. In the meantime, be faithful with what you have. As the Parable of the Talents reminds us, you need to be faithful with the little you have before you can be trusted with much.
4. Support from Leadership Means the World
This may be the most important one.
Kids' leaders do this work because they love children and they love Jesus. Many of them will serve faithfully for decades without much recognition. They understand that they're planting seeds that the youth ministry, young adult ministry, and the church at large will eventually harvest. And they’re ok with that.
But they still need to know their leader sees them.
They need you to check in. To listen to their stories, good and bad, without judgment or repercussion. They need to hear you mention children's ministry from the stage. They need you to brag on what's happening in that room and the difference it's making. Even if you had nothing to do with an event, simply showing up or asking how it went afterward means more than you know. A kids' leader can ride that kind of encouragement for months. You may have an incredible kids' ministry, but if it's never celebrated in the main room, most of your congregation will never know it exists.
If you're in kidmin, be proactive about communicating what you're doing and what you need. At one church I sent a weekly report to my leadership team summarizing what I was working on and where I needed support. At others, I sent a weekly email to parents and volunteers, and my pastor was always on the list. I can't say for certain he read every one, but I know I did my part to keep him informed.
And give your pastor grace when you don't get all the support you were hoping for. They have more pulling on them than you can see from your chair. If they're not asking questions, don't read it as indifference. It may simply mean they trust you. Take that as a compliment and get to work. Don't give the enemy room to build bitterness in you.
Kidmin is one of the most complex ministry roles in the church. Outside of the lead pastor, I'd argue it's the most demanding of all. If you lead kidmin leaders, show them your appreciation consistently. If you're in kidmin, keep going. The church needs you. The kids need you. We need you.
No leader is perfect, but a good one keeps trying to get better. Give your pastor grace and don't lose sight of what matters most: reaching more people for Jesus.
